Denial

What is denial and why do we deny something? You humans have a high tendency to deny what you fear. But why do you have fears?

You usually have fears of something you have not seen before, which you cannot explain due to the lack of experience. But you can as well fear a particular person or another being. That fear might sometimes express itself as a particular abhorrence towards a person. In fact, if you resemble a dislikening towards a person you truly fear carrying a trait of the other person’s personality in yourself. In turn, you deny that fear and put it down as a ‘natural’ antipathy even though you usually hardly know the other person. Your fear is clad in denial.

But what could you be afraid of when meeting a different person or being? Some people are afraid of foreigners, which might, on the one hand, be due to negative narratives about the same group of people that foreigner does apparently belong to, or on the other hand, it could be due to a simple personality trait you catch of the other person’s body language. You are literally afraid of that particular personality trait, but less for what it would actually resemble and how it would be expressed, rather for the frightening gut feeling that you could have the same personality trait. That means, if another being was extremely open-minded, you may feel frightened to be as open-minded yourself. Maybe because you think the world the full of evil creatures who would only take advantage of your open-mindedness in order to harm you. Or maybe you meet someone and you can clearly see that creature tends to be of a rather aggressive kind. You would fear of tending to such aggressiveness yourself.

What would that mean though if you finally met a vampyre? What are you humans truly afraid of? Are you afraid or having the possibility to become an immortal being yourself? Being immortal might sound enticing in the first place. Yet, you get to live literally forever, if you take good care of yourself. It would entail surviving your relatives and friends, leaving you infinitely alone. You are afraid of being alone. You would see the world’s ages passing, have the chance to observe possible developments of humanity you may not be able to witness as a mortal. You would still remain alone. Unless you find something you can keep yourself occupied with. Of course, you have the choice to preoccupy yourself with sucking every single human in the world dry, hunt down those who have ever wronged you during your moral life. Ultimately, you would be left with an enduring void in your soul, finding yourself in front of a huge pile of broken pieces, leaving nothing for yourself feeling worthy to return to. You are afraid of being different.

After my siblings and I received our dark rebirth, we experienced that exact void. Relatives and the few friends we were allowed to have were gone. At least we had ourselves to mock around with. Extremely bloodthirsty times followed in the first place until we noticed we had nothing else left to do. We almost drove humans to extinction, if we had done so, we would have had nothing left to survive on. We refused to survive on the costs of animal’s lives since every being has its task in this world to keep the world’s nature in balance. Everything in this world needs its counterpart, which we partly demonstrate to be to humans. Yet, you humans are strikingly a pretty aggressive and self-destructive kind. You do not only destroy other lives with pleasure, be it the natural habitat of animals, animals themselves for their precious fur and tusk, but you also seem to have found yourself taken a joy in destroying your own world.

I remain speechless about your stupidity and the denial of your stupidity. At the same time, you deny the facts reflecting your fear.

– Layla

 

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